The Sun and the Moon and the Stars
by BlondeOnBlonde34
Summary: A little what if, on what would happen if Lyra found a way through.


The woman walked down the street in quick, urgent steps. She was young and very beautiful. Her hair was golden and curled around her face. Her eyes sparked with mischief and intelligence. But there was sadness there, too, etched into the lines around her mouth and eyes.

Beside her, a pine martin flitted around. He was beautiful too, a red gold color. But he was sad as well, sad in the same way she was.

She reached her destination, looked around nervously and rang the doorbell.

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do, Pan?" she asked.

"Course it is," said the pine martin reassuringly. "You still love him, don't you?"

"You joking? Of course I still love him, you daft creature!"

They were interrupted as the door opened with a creak. No one was there. Lyra was very perplexed.

"Are you my Mommy?" said a small voice from below. Lyra looked down. There, perched on the doorstep, was a little girl. Couldn't be more than four years old.

Despite thinking that she was prepared for this, that she wanted him to move on, be happy without her, her breath caught in her throat. Standing in front of her was the proof that he had married and had children. That he'd gotten over her.

The little girl, oblivious to her emotional tumult, said "I don't got a mommy, not yet. Daddy says that one day, I'll see her. And she'll be as beautiful as the sun, an' the moon, an' the stars, an' . . .? Oh," she said, with a little gasp, "You are her, ain't you?" For right than, Lyra's face was shining. Like she had swallowed the sun, and it was streaming out through her face. For it was all right! He had not married, he most have adopted this little creature. He had been waiting for her.

She smiled, and the little girl was dazzled. She decided that she'd never seen such a beautiful lady, and she wanted her to be her mommy harder than she'd ever wanted anything in her life.

"Do you mind if I come in?" she asked and the little girl beckoned her in.

"What's your name?" she asked

"Lyra," said Lyra, and the little girl gasped.

"Daddy told me about you," she said excitedly. "He said she was the most wonderful woman in the world, and if I was very lucky I might meet her one day. Are you her?' she said with adoring eyes.

"I don't know," Lyra said lightly, trying to cover up the feelings bubbling up inside her. "What else has he said about her?"

"Welllllllll," said the little girl, "He said that she was brave as a lion, that she loved fiercely, an' that she was followed around everywhere by a beautiful pine martin named . . . Pantalaimon," she pronounced with difficulty, "Just like Daddy's Kirjava! Do you have a pine marten?" she asked hopefully.

Lyra nodded. "Pan," she called softly, "Come out and meet-" she looked at the girl searchingly. "What's your name?"

"Elissa," she said proudly. She looked around, leaned closer and whispered "But you can call me Ellie."

The pine martin crept out from where he'd been hiding behind Lyra and made a little bow to Elissa.

"Oh! He's beautiful!" she gasped.

Lyra smiled.

"Oh, Daddy will be so happy to see you when he gets back," the little girl babbled on.

This roused Lyra again to her purpose in coming here. "Where is your father?" she asked.

"He's away, he's never here on Midsummer's day."

Lyra gasped. She hadn't realized that it was today . . .

"Ellie, I have to go," she said, turning towards the door.

Ellie's lip trembled. She didn't want to give her Mommy up! Not when she'd just found her.

"But you'll come back, won't you?" she said desperately.

Lyra turned back. "Yes, Ellie. I will."

"Promise?"

"Pinky-swear for forever," Lyra promised. "Now I have to go find your father."

As she walked out the door, Elissa smiled contentedly. She would come back and be her Mommy, she was positive. And she happily skipped off.

Lyra walked, almost ran down the street towards the botanical gardens. It had been more than ten years. She desperately wanted to see him again, go off with him by her side, her other half restored.

It had not been easy for her. There wasn't a day- no, an hour- when she didn't miss him. She'd been with other people, of course. One couldn't be as beautiful as she was without attracting some admirers. But only one man ever truly held her heart.

And she'd finally found a way through! It had taken years of research, but she'd finally figured out how to go through.

The first person she'd found was Mary Malone, the scientist who was in part responsible for bringing her and Will together. Mary had been overjoyed to see her. She was still chugging away at her particle research. She'd seen Will over the years, but she told Lyra little of his personal life. "You'll just have to wait and see for yourself," was all she alluded to. Lyra had thought this was probably trying to let her down gently.

Though the very first thing Mary inquired after was how she's gotten through.

"It was hard," Lyra said. "Very hard. But there was a catch in the restrictions about dust flowing away. You could build a doorway, and give it a door, a net of sorts, which would catch the dust and keep it in. You'd be able to open the door when you needed to, and the dust wouldn't float away. But," she said, taking a sip of tea, "There's still a significant risk, so I'll only be able to build a couple."

"But however did you figure it out?" Mary asked.

Lyra went digging around in her bag for something, finally pulling out what looked like a large golden compass. "The Altheiometer," she said simply. "I learned how to read it again. It isn't as easy as it was in the beginning, but I'm doing pretty well."

After that, she'd asked after Will, and Mary had given her his address.

And now she was really running, running towards the place where he was. It's difficult, living without the love of your life and then not being able to be fast enough. No matter how fast you run, it will always seem too slow.

There was the entrance to the Botanical Gardens now. It was close to closing time, but she rushed in anyway. It would be magical, to meet him there.

Pantalaimon panted away at her side. He was running too, to see his other half. Kirjava, Will's cat daemon.

She made her way to the bench, more slowly now. She was afraid, more afraid than she could ever imagine. She took cautious steps, rounding the corner. A large potted plant stood in her view of him. But she could hear every word that he was saying.

"Ellie's bigger now, you'd be so proud of her. She loves to go exploring and she's made a friend, a little boy named Sam. But she still asks for you constantly. I'm afraid of what it's going to do to her, growing up without a mother but believing that she'll someday meet her. But that's impossible," he said, his voice breaking. Lyra desperately wanted to step out and show him it wasn't impossible, she was here, but he started talking again.

"None of my relationships have worked out. I know you'd want me to move on with my life, like you probably have. I've tried, I really have, but none of those other women are original. More than that, none of them are you." Lyra nodded, though he couldn't see her. It'd been the same for her. She'd tried as well, but none her relationships have had the depth of her and Will's.

"Well, I think I have to leave. Ellie will be wondering where I am. I miss you more every day. Love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars." She could tell he was moving to walk away. She took a deep breath. This was what had kept her going for the past ten years, the chance she would see him again. She stepped out.

His back was turned to her, and he had his head in his hands. It looked like he was sobbing.

"Will?" she said softly. He turned around, and her heart jumped in her throat. He looked real, real and alive. Better than any of the dreams she'd cooked up while they were apart.

His expression was first of outright shock, than amazement, then slowly faded into wonder and love. "Lyra?" he said, taking a step towards her. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"Lyra?" he asked again. She for a second time, she nodded.

Then he toke one big stepping, bridging the gap between them and swept her up in his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder, taking in the distinctive and unique smell of Will. She heard a strange hiccupy and realized it was her, laughing and crying at the same time. And he was laughing and crying too, holding her as if he never wanted to let her go.

But he did, of course, and she looked into his eyes as deeply as he was looking into hers. She wouldn't mind falling into those eyes and drowning, for that would be the sweetest death there ever was.

He looked the same yet different. He looked sad, and with a start, she realized it was the same emotion people saw in her face, which she'd never been able to detect. He had more lines around his eyes, but he looked stronger.

"Oh, Will," she breathed. "I've missed you so, so much."

He chuckled, and it sounded rich and deep and beautiful to her. "And you think I haven't missed you?"

Then he leaned down to kiss her. She almost tasted that little red fruit again, but he tasted so much better than that ever could. She could stand here forever, with Will wrapping his arms around her and kissing her.

He did step back, eventually. She brushed a finger across the line of his jaw. "Will, I love you," she said quietly.

He broke down right then, wrapping her up again and sobbing into her hair. She could feel his tears falling on to her head and getting lost in her curls.

She was home.


End file.
